Honestee Is Da Best Policee

Arr friend Dozer haz told us dat we shud get dis award. And he sayz dat da most honest one shud write it. Waldo iz a big babee and he don't know wat it iz to be on-est. And mommee alwayz sayz dat we getz to yooz da keeboard, but we duzint, so she iz not on-est. So, I, Gus, am writing ten on-est thingz bout myself.

1. I am verree smart. Daddee only haz to show me thingz like, 3 timez and I understandz. Daddee iz a gud traynr.
2. My real mommeez name was Lily and my real daddeez name was Winchester. Dog Mom sayz dat I look like my mommee, but I act like my daddee.
3. I get too excited wen peeple come over to owr howse. My tail is veree strong wen I wagz it, and sometimez I make peeple fall ovr.
4. I reelee like it wen we goze swimming. Mommee sayz I am a fish, but I think she is con-foosed, cuz I am cleerly a doggeh.
5. I reelee don't like da bath. Wich is weerd, cuz ov da swimming thing.
6. Fur my furst 2 yeers, I did not have a licenss. Wen we got Waldo, mommee wuz worreed dat we wud jump ovur da fenss togethur and get in trubble. So now we bof have licensses.
7. I am skared of boxes. Veree skared!!
8. Wen peeple arr in my naybor's yarrds, I bark like crazee. I am happee again wen dey come and pet me.
9. My favorite peeple food (after chikin and beef) is OLIVES. Yummee!!
10. I am veree happee wen mommee getz owt my Ohio State jerzee. It iz my favorite thing to wear.

If woo would like to bee on-est, too, have fun wif dis!!